Random Pips

Hi, I’m Will. Now, I know what you’re all thinking: why is this guy grooving in slow-motion to some sexy-sounding music? Why do volcanoes erupt? ‘Cause they’re haht! Aoooh yeah…workin’ it like my 9-to-5 job. Tap those keys. That’s right…take a photo of those sheets…

At this point, you may be feeling a little uncomfortable. Maybe your seat’s getting kinda warm. It’s alright, it’s alright. ‘Cause I’m gonna change things up a bit. Suddenly, I have a phone in my hand. And I’m talking…and you can tell I’m having a great time because I have this very expressive laugh plastered on my face. You may be wondering right now who it is I’m talking to. I mean, it’s a Saturday night – everyone’s out in the club getting their freak on. And I’m not since I’m obviously still in my living room. Nah nah, I’m exactly where I wanna be…dancing all by myself and talking dirty to some girl I can’t see.  Check this: I don’t even know her name – I just called this number and after being put on hold for 45 minutes and then another 30 minutes while they verify my credit card info, I was instantly connected with a random chick looking for a good time. Actually, I don’t even know if she’s a chick. But it’s all cool…that’s what imagination’s for.

So call Quest now…and you can be having as much fun as I am.

Why go out when you can imagine talking to an insanely hot chick?

(Image courtesy of: TipTapTip.com)

Posted in Humour, People
Tags: Humour, People

By: Winluck Wong

[Excerpt start]

Fade in blue light wash across stage.

CEREB is sitting at a long table with a computer workstation in front of her and an unoccupied workstation beside her, all facing downstage. She is typing away at the keyboard.

Fade in spotlight on table.

CEREB suddenly stops typing and stares intently at the monitor screen, a frown frozen on her face.

Enter MENTIS.

MENTIS: (taking the empty seat)
Wow…you’re in pretty early tonight.

CEREB:
Oh…hey, Mentis. Um…yeah, you too. I mean, the shift doesn’t start for another nine minutes.

MENTIS:
Yeah, I thought I’d pop in a little earlier. Gotta set an example for all the rookies, y’know? Clearly, we both had the same idea. I’ve trained you well.

CEREB: (relaxing)
Well, I wouldn’t want to lose the coveted spot as partner to the great Mentis, now would I?

MENTIS:
Aw, cut it out, Cereb. We went through the Academy together.

CEREB:
Yeah, but you’ve got to be the only Agent in history who has ever graduated with so many honours. C’mon, you’re a legend! Do you have any idea how high the pile of requests to work beside you is? I would’ve had to wait in line forever if you hadn’t rejected the others so quickly.

MENTIS:
Well, the others just didn’t have the qualities I was looking for. I can be a little picky sometimes. Okay – very picky, all the time. Anyway, I chose you eventually, didn’t I?

CEREB:
I know! Best day of my life. Y’know, I dreamt about that day for so long and I just can’t thank you enough for this amazing opportunity –

MENTIS:
Look, Cereb, I know what you’re doing. The performance reviews are coming up and you’re fishing for a good report. I get it. Well, we’ve only been working together for, what, two full years…but just in case you’re still wondering, I think you fit the bill perfectly. I’m not going to send you away, okay?

CEREB:
Oh, I knew that. I just like to see how far I can make you blush.

MENTIS:
Alright, you win. Now stop doing that or I’m not going to be able to concentrate on the shift. Understood?

CEREB:
Yes, sir. So dedicated.

MENTIS:
Cereb?

CEREB:
Sorry – couldn’t resist. Everything is good to go now, sir.

MENTIS:
The Host is asleep now?

CEREB:
Yes, sir.

MENTIS:
Thank you.

Fade out spotlight.

MENTIS:
Attention all units – this is Frontal Control. Stand-by for signal transmissions from Parietal, Temporal, and Occipital Zones. Five…Four…Three…Two…One.

Fade out blue light. Fade in spotlight again.

MENTIS:
We are online. Cross-check.

CEREB:
All systems functional. Commencing data download and decryption.

MENTIS:
Well…how did the day look for our Host?

CEREB:
The usual. The Host woke up at 0700hrs on the dot from His clock radio. But here’s an interesting change: the radio station actually didn’t blare out any country tunes this morning.

MENTIS:
Really? What’d they play?

CEREB:
Franz Ferdinand’s “You’re The Reason I’m Leaving”.

MENTIS:
That’s awesome – now that’s a great song. It’s quite the change-up from country, I gotta say. Finally. So…it doesn’t look like His wife is willing to talk to Him anytime soon, eh?

CEREB:
Nope. She had her back towards Him when He got up, but you could tell she’s awake though. Y’know…she’s got her shoulders all squared-up and her back forms a perfect 90-degrees with the bed. It’s pretty much impossible to maintain that position if you’re really sleeping.

MENTIS:
Ouch. It’s been almost a week already. I mean, how long does she want to drag it out? I can understand if He did something totally unforgivable like…going out on a fling with His assistant at the office. Or maybe with that cute waitress at the diner –

CEREB:
Which reminds me – you owe me five bucks. Because she definitely had the hots for Him.

MENTIS:
What? No way. She’s just friendly.

CEREB:
Yeah, well friendly enough to leave her number at the bottom of the receipt, I suppose.

MENTIS:
Oh. When was this?

CEREB:
A couple days ago. You were off-duty then. Roll back to that day’s clip if you want.

MENTIS:
Nah, I believe you. Damn you and your intuition. Alright, I’ll pay you at the end of the shift. Y’know…come to think of it, He never did go back to the diner or even call the waitress these last two days…which means that He didn’t take her up on the offer. See, this proves the point of what I was getting at: He’s always been faithful to His wife. And He worked hard to get up to such a high-paying position in the company. All so that they could have a comfortable life together. And that’s a problem for her now? What am I missing here?

CEREB:
Well…He’s really changed a lot, don’t you think? I mean, it’s more like He clawed His way up to His position rather than worked His way up. He left a long trail of bad blood getting there.

MENTIS:
Fair enough. But that’s all part of the business. If they’re not tough enough to hold the higher ground, then they should expect to get taken down. The corporate field is really not much different from the battlefield – well, besides the fact that you don’t really die in the physical sense.

CEREB:
So…you’re saying that our beloved Host should be some sort of cold, emotionless soldier?

MENTIS:
Well, not really in that sense –

CEREB:
But that’s exactly what He’s become right now. Can you honestly remember Him smiling even once in the past year or so?

MENTIS:
No. What does it matter anyway? Work’s been getting more and more stressful for Him.

CEREB:
It matters because that smile is what made His wife fall in love with Him in the first place.

MENTIS:
Well, that’s – we have an incoming message.

CEREB:
This is Frontal Control – go ahead. Copy that. Host orientation angle is leaning four-five degrees towards the right and decreasing. Distance to free-fall: zero-decimal-niner centimetres and decreasing. Shit! He’s rolling off the bed.

MENTIS:
Patch me through to the Primary Motor Cortex.

CEREB:
Comm-link online.

MENTIS:
Papa-Mike-Charlie – this is Frontal Control. Send a squad of Agents – designated “Alpha Squad” – to rendezvous in the Host’s left hand immediately. Apply downward pressure of one-six-decimal-three-zero kilograms on the remaining bed surface to the right of the Host. You have three milliseconds. What’s the progress?

CEREB:
Host orientation angle repositioning…Parallel standard achieved.

MENTIS:
Papa-Mike-Charlie – this is Frontal Control. Now, order Alpha Squad to spread out along the left arm. Mobilize four more squads – designated squads “Bravo”, “Charlie”, “Delta”, and “Echo” – and drop them along the muscle sectors of the right arm, both legs, and the Latissimus Dorsi muscle sector, respectively. I want all five sectors to push against the bed and shift the Host one-four-decimal-two-two centimetres to the left. Status?

CEREB:
Squads deployed. All five sectors are commencing contractions. ETA to target: three seconds. Three…two…one. Lateral shift complete. Whew, that was close. Mentis saves the day again. Good job.

MENTIS:
Thanks. Alright, let’s look at the rest of the day.

[Excerpt end]

*Note: This play was first presented during Nakai Theatre’s “Homegrown Festival” at the Guild Hall in May 2010 – starring Carrie Anne Bruton as “Cereb” and Winluck Wong as “Mentis”.

Posted in Fiction
Tags: Fiction

A few years ago, YouTube exploded with the lip-sync phenomenon known as the “Back Dorm Boys”. The duo were students at the Guangzhou Arts Institute and out of boredom, they decided to create a few webcam videos of themselves lip-syncing to the Backstreet Boys. Their friends sent the videos to their friends who sent the videos to their other friends and the rest is history. The Back Dorm Boys, Huang Yixin and Wei Wei, went on to make more lip-syncing videos of other pop songs and even some obscure ones, such as Trio’s Da Da Da:

(Video courtesy of: younotwolf on YouTube.com)

And, of course, how can we forget their memorable rendition of a classic Beijing opera piece:

(Video courtesy of: duncanmeister on YouTube.com)

What cinches the popularity of these videos is their complete 300% dedication to the songs and their incredibly agile facial muscles. Another hilarious staple of their videos is the dude on the computer in the background whose attitude to what goes on behind him can be summed up with a  mere “Meh.”

This is a prime example of how physical comedy will always draw out laughter from people no matter how many times they’ve watched it. Sometimes, squeezing your brain udders for a few drops of witty lines just doesn’t cud it.

See what I just did there? Yep…I’d groan, too.

Posted in Humour, Music, People, Videos
Tags: Humour, Music, People, Videos

Imagine if your grandchildren get home one evening from a long day at work and eager for dinner, they turn to their Mark III RoboServ to ask if it has cooked dinner yet. Photoreceptors swivelling left and right in rapid succession, the robot emits an overly cheery, “Yes!” from its speaker grille before quickly activating its internal comm unit to speed-dial the nearest pizza delivery joint.

You may be thinking, “That’s impossible! We all know robots can’t lie.” Aha! Not so anymore. Scientists at the Georgia Institute of Technology have recently developed a program which may allow robots to not only assess a person’s gullibility, but to take advantage as well by telling a lie. As with all cutting-edge technological advances, this project stems from military interest. If robot soldiers  that can lie are deployed out in the field, enemies would find it extremely difficult to extract intelligence from them even if they are captured.

This, of course, has disturbing implications for consumers who are looking forward to one day filling their households with robot servants. What if they do more than just lie about cooking dinner? What if they commit homicide and lie to cover it up?

Yes – that risk is possible, but in order to prevent that possibility, this research is absolutely necessary. It’s the only way to find out how robots can go about lying so that safeguards can be developed against it. Let’s hope for success in this research because we all know the “Three Laws” are not perfect.

Until then, let’s have a sing-along: “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. All the lies you tell though, please don’t be evil.”

As long as they don't have faulty programming, robots are awesome!

(Screenshot courtesy of: CyberPunkReview.com)

Posted in News, People, Society, Technology
Tags: News, People, Society, Technology

Let’s face it, if you were a “science geek” back in high school, chances are you wouldn’t have placed very high on the social ladder then. It’s been the sad fact of reality for generations. However, it is important to point out that it is the science geeks who end up furthering the boundaries of science so our comfort of living can be increased along with our understanding of the world and beyond. So while science geeks weren’t cool back in high school, keep in mind that this modern age we are enjoying would not be possible without their continued interest in science.

It is for this very reason that science geeks should be considered hip. Think of a world without planes, trains, and automobiles; a world without radio, television, and the Internet; a world without computers, robotics, and software applications – it’s nearly unfathomable and frankly, rather scary (unless someone is wistful for the good ol’ Dark Ages).

In fact, the hipness of science geeks can be corroborated by this video, mixed and posted by John Boswell exactly one year ago as part of his Symphony of Science music project:

(Video courtesy of: melodysheep on YouTube.com)

Watch the video and you’re bound to be inspired by the endless possibilities we can achieve with science. So here is a toast of C₂H₅OH to all lovers of science…because science is coxa!

Posted in Music, People, Science, Society, Videos
Tags: Music, People, Science, Society, Videos

Regardless of where and when we are, there is always something in our surroundings that is infinitely truthful, beautiful, free-spirited, and lovable. It all comes down to whether we are looking or not. And no, I do not mean prying your eyelids open and incorporating a slow 360-degree spin into your gait – first off, your eyeballs would dry out and you would probably kiss the ground within 15 seconds of that nutty walk.

What I mean is when something catches your eye and beckons you in some inexplicable way to allow your gaze to linger awhile longer, that is your cue to take the moment to admire its every hue, line, texture, and shadow. You would not get another chance to do so otherwise. Even if you were to return the very next day and stand in the exact same location with your eyes fixed in the exact same spot, it would not move you the way it had the first time. Moments like these are unique and precious.

So, a few years ago, I decided to create an ongoing – and hopefully lifelong – project of capturing these moments in photographs. It is my way of cherishing each moment and through their photographic immortality, contributing to the Bohemian ideals of: Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love.

Posted in Uncategorized

Is it possible for an actor to portray the exact same character every night of a show? I had a discussion with a fellow actor about this and the conclusion we arrived at is: no – absolutely not.

Every character we put on invariably contains some element of our own self and, of course, we are never the same person each day. You could be filled to the brim with elation today after getting the phone number of that person you have been eyeing at the coffee shop for the past few weeks, which would feel radically different from a sombre night yesterday when you saw a stray cat sighing its last breath beside a dumpster in a flickering alley. The emotions an actor carries throughout the day would ultimately influence the character one way or another. But despite this inescapable truth, many actors keep falling into the trap of worrying whether their character portrayals are flawed from their own changing emotions.

It reminds me of an article I read the other day about quantum entanglement and its possible application to making teleportation a reality. The theory basically states that all particles share an invisible link with a counterpart particle that remains stable even at great distances. This link between these two particles causes them to become “entangled”, which would allow us to almost immediately know the information of the other particle upon discovering the information of one particle. If we can somehow “piggy-back” on this mysterious link, we can essentially have our atoms bond with the particles of “Point A” and have them instantaneously copied over on the counterpart particles at “Point B”.

Like any self-respecting sci-fi geek out there, I was jumping up and down excitedly at the possibility of teleportation. At the end of the article, however, it posed a problem: in order for teleportation to work according to the quantum theory, your original self would have to be destroyed at “Point A” first so that your copy can appear in “Point B”. But that would mean that, technically, you never arrive at “Point B” – only your copy does. It should theoretically have the same body and same memories as your original, but when you boil it down to the bare-bone facts, it is really only a copy of you. A whole moral debate sprung up after the article with one side saying the teleportee would never know the difference and the other side saying that the teleportee would not be the same.

My take on the discussion is: “What does it matter?” If we have already established the fact that we change with each passing day and that each change stems from the choices we make, why get so hung up on whether teleportation alters us or not? When it comes down to it, the use of teleportation is really just one of the million choices we make every day.

The same goes for actors fretting about the shift of their character from the other night. Just embrace the change and use the energy from it to fuel your performance. Only then can you pull away from the “glorious final character” you envisioned in your mind and focus on the process of creating that character. After all, that is why most of us fell in love with acting in the first place: to experience the journey from self to character.

Teleportation - this is how you travel with style

(Artwork courtesy of: WeAreSurvivalMachines.com)

Posted in Acting, People, Science
Tags: Acting, People, Science