I feel like a 2nd-rate magician w/ a bag of anti-climatic failed tricks every time I try to scan my grocery barcodes at the self-checkouts. - Twipped - 1 week ago
#PointlessMondayUpdate: Fumbled with the toilet seat as it crashed down with a bang. The dog got startled so he barked a couple times. - Twipped - 2 weeks ago
Sometimes, when you come across a railing, you just have to vault over it with flair. And shock the hell out of some random passerby. - Twipped - 2 weeks ago