Drug Mug
Sniff or smoke? Snort or inject? Pop or drink? Doesn’t matter ’cause they all mess with your mind, son. They make you see things…
Like a giant white rabbit jumps down this really tiny hole in the ground and you wonder how the hell it managed to squeeze through. So you shove your hand down the hole to see how far it goes and suddenly, you’re falling. You flip around head-over-heels a few times before landing on a fluffy white cloud. This is amazing…it’s so soft. You just wanna…just wanna wrap it around yourself. You roll around. And giggle – for fifteen whole minutes.
Then a green fairy pops out of nowhere and sprinkles green glitter all over your face. Your only reaction is a wide-eyed, unblinking stare. She’s so green. Everything…how does her skin do that? How can it…what is she doing? She’s reaching behind her back. Holy crap, she’s got a gun – she’s gonna shoot! Oh. Hehe…it’s a bun. A green bun. You suddenly realize that you haven’t eaten anything for like…ten years.
With tears of gratitude in your eyes, you scarf down the green bun and hungrily eye the cloud. Tentatively, you lick it – marshmallow! But before you can take a bite, the green fairy lands in front of you and shoots green lasers out of her eyes. You desperately cartwheel away because you know that’s the best method to dodge green lasers. You finally decide to burrow into the cloud. Silence. You’re safe now. You snuggle deeper in your fluffy cocoon with a dopey smile on your face and take little bites out of the cloud’s marshmallowy goodness.
It doesn’t last long. Your cocoon splits open and you break down when you see the green fairy snarling in your face. You wipe away your tears and try to push her away with your tear-drenched hands. She sizzles. You gaze at your hands in awe. You just found your superpower. Hands flailing in rapid-motion, you start flinging teardrops at the green fairy until she disappears with a green bang. So does the cloud you’re lying in. You find yourself falling again and land on the hard-packed ground with a jarring thud, flat on your back. Whoa…you survived.
You squint at the stars twinkling at you and on cue, they have a dance-off with one another. Gleefully, you try to follow the rhythm with enthusiastic hand-claps, but end up creating an off-beat one instead. Whatever. This one’s better. You give in to another fit of giggles until they become hiccups. Then the sky begins to spin and the stars spiral into a kaleidoscope of rainbow colours. You loll your head around as the giant white rabbit pulls a blanket over your face.
The next morning, you wake up in a strange alley with vomit on your shirt and urine in your shoes. You sit up only to be knocked back down by a pounding headache. You gingerly pat your pockets and realize your wallet and keys are gone. Panicking, you reach for your phone. That’s gone, too.
Scary as shit, isn’t it?
Don’t do drugs, kids. You don’t want to know what’s being done to you while you were off on your little high trip. If you’re still curious about the effects, take a look at this video:
(Video courtesy of: MrCally2 on YouTube.com)
Looks like it could be so fucking fun, right? Now imagine yourself in the driver’s seat and think of how you and all the innocent people are hideously mashed up in the resulting car-crash a second later. Yeah – don’t do drugs.
