See Sheet Bottom For Cheek
Now that I’ve been in the workforce for several years, I suddenly find myself missing school. Y’know…the all-nighters, cram sessions, maniacal profs, projects where one or two people don’t do jack-shit, and all that fun stuff. I really do. Yes, it was stressful, but it was somehow more bearable because as students, we were in an environment where we’re expected to screw up every now and then – that’s how we learn. In the workforce, however, screwing up is not an option at all. Well, it is…it just means you’ll be one step closer to getting fired.
Thoughts of the good ol’ school years naturally lead to memories of exam horrors. Sometimes, it seems like the profs have this freaky ability to know exactly what you’ve missed in your cram session the other night. I have this theory that upon getting their teaching certification, all the profs get a special chip implanted into their brains that allows them to gather RSS feeds from their students’ brainwaves. Then every night before an exam the next morning, they would analyze the feeds to find out what the gaps are in the students’ knowledge base. Once they figure that out, they would edit some of the exam questions so that they are virtually impossible for the students to answer or even understand.
Whenever students come across one of those questions, they have two choices: a) Pull their hair out by the chunks and leave behind unattractive blank spaces on both their answer sheet and their scalps; or b) Leave their hair-do intact and have fun writing an up-yours-you-sadistic-piece-of-shit cheeky answer. Personally, I prefer the latter choice – partly because I am a little vain and I like my hair the way it is.
But even with the numerous times I’ve had the pleasure of practicing choice b), I am by no means a master at it. If you want to see the works of true masters, please see the following:
Logic at its finest
(Image courtesy of: WINBlog.org)
That question makes no sense at all, but the student was a good sport and played along. Way to show the prof up!
Proof that technical terms are just not as interesting as good story-telling
(Image courtesy of: WINBlog.org)
Yes!! Now that is awesome! If the prof can just overlook the fact that it has nothing to do with the context of the course, the student’s explanation makes total sense. I will hereby adopt it as my official answer if ever it is necessary for me to explain why salt is fatal to slugs or snails.
Be careful of what you ask for
(Image courtesy of: WINBlog.org)
You can’t blame the student – the instructions were being followed to the word. I think the prof should give the student at least 50 bonus points. Epic WIN indeed!
Getting the opportunity to exercise creativity that way on exams is incentive enough to make me want to sign up for school again.
Dude, the bear is white! The only way for those calculations to be correct is if the bear started precisely at the north pole.
The student’s answer was more entertaining, though, and I hope he got at least partial marks.
I’m also rather fond of school, and considering going back next fall for law. What would you study if you went back now?
Well…I secretly want to go to theatre school – I haven’t told the big honchos yet though. Whenever they ask, I tell them I’m thinking about “finishing up my business degree”. Yeah, it’ll quite a fireworks show when I finally drop the bomb. Fun times.