Bleed For Tears
We all dream every night. It’s just a matter of whether you actually remember the dream the next morning. Most of the time, we don’t – although we do get that vague sense that something exciting happened in the middle of the night while we were asleep. And then there are those dreams that are so vivid that the images will stay with us for the rest of our lives.
I had one of those dreams when I was a kid, which makes this all the more strange because it was definitely not your typical kid dream:
“Down!”I threw myself to the ground as the air above me rippled from a passing shockwave. A half-second later, an explosion hurled dirt and shrapnel across the pock-marked field. I flinched when a spray of earth rained down on me, but let out a relieved breath. No shrapnel hit.“Suppressive fire!”I raised my carbine and aimed it in the general direction that the mortar strike had come from. There was a dip in the terrain ahead so that was most likely where the enemy mortar team was hidden. As I fired burst after burst, I tried to slow down my gasping breaths. It was no use – my diaphragm was on auto-pilot and kept at full-throttle. I concentrated on firing and listening for the platoon commander’s next orders instead.“Double-flank! Bravo Squad take left. Charlie Squad take right. Alpha Squad – maintain suppressive fire.”I motioned for my squad to get up and winced when I saw that two of my men remained still on the ground. I took a quick breath to calm my nerves before relaying my orders.“Stick with your fireteams and cover each other,” I barked. The order was only given out of habit – my squad knew what to do and I was fully confident in their competence. “My team’ll take point. Move out!”Here we go. As one, we rapidly covered ground to flank the enemy from the left – each team advancing and laying down suppressive fire for the others to advance. It was a standard maneuver, but I couldn’t seem to clamp down on the nagging feeling that something was not right.We rounded the terrain dip just as Charlie Squad reached it from their side and shouted for the enemy mortar team to drop their weapons and step away from the mortar. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath until the enemy complied without fighting back. Only then did I let it out with a weary whoosh.But as it turned out, my initial instincts were not for nothing. We were about to secure the area when one of my squad members let out a piercing scream that froze the blood in my veins. Bringing up my carbine, I whipped around and watched in horror as he fell into the river to our left.My brain refused to accept what my eyes had caught a flash of in that moment. Scales? That’s impossible. I turned to scan the field for an enemy sniper, but stopped when I heard a rumble from the river. It swelled until a giant wave roared over its banks, though that wasn’t the least of our worries. Writhing at the crest of the wave were a horde of reptilian creatures with gaping, alligator-like jaws.The instant they crashed onto the shore, they pounced and began pulling everyone into the river. The already chaotic battlefield was transformed into a full-out pandemonium. Our guns seemed to have minimal effect on the reptiles. They were much too quick for us to train our shots at them accurately and even if we miraculously hit them with a stray bullet, it was never severe enough to be fatal. And then the effectiveness of our weapons didn’t matter to me anymore because my carbine chose that moment to jam.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my best friend – whom I had fought every battle with and had promised his family that we would survive every one to see retirement – being dragged into the river. My vision clouded with red. No…this is not how it’s going to end!Abandoning all reason, I brandished my carbine like a club and beat my way to the riverbank. With only the reckless thought that I could somehow save my friend, I leapt into the river.But something strange happened. Instead of diving headlong into the churning river, my leap carried me straight up into the air until I floated several metres above the onslaught. I couldn’t move a muscle. Paralyzed, I watched as all of our soldiers and the enemy’s were mercilessly taken down by the reptiles one by one. When the massacre finally ended, the reptiles slipped back into the river. Whatever was holding me up in the air loosened its grip and I slowly drifted down onto the riverbank.I stared at the torn-up field, scarred with colours of acrid black and screaming crimson. My gaze turned back towards the river – its now calm current mocking us…as if we had never existed at all.It was too much. I collapsed, helplessly racked with uncontrollable sobs that threatened to consume me. And I was powerless to stop them from doing so.
I woke up, screaming non-stop. I remember my parents rushing into the bedroom to comfort me and trying to coax me back to sleep. I eventually closed my eyes so that they could return to bed, but I opened them again when they left. I didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.
I never figured out what the dream meant. Maybe it just meant I had an overworked imagination as a kid. Or it may really have some significance I’ve yet to discover. All I know is that this dream is undoubtedly the most vivid and powerful one I’ve ever had.
